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She makes more than you……why?

November 1, 2011 1 comment

Have you ever been really attracted to a woman and took that leap of faith to ask for her name? Then, you decide to go out on a date and have a great conversation. The night seems to last forever until you pop the big question…the other big question “So what do you do for a living?” Ladies, if you don’t know, we are, at that moment, paralyzed when we find out that you make more money than we do. It is very intimidating for a man to find out the woman he wants makes double what he does. Let’s face it, your options are many and it’s a struggle for us to keep up. But before the panic attack, let’s take a stroll through history to really understand how this came to be so true.

If you think back to the early 1930’s, women were just getting to the point where they could work and be respected in the workforce. As women’s rights grew, so did the ability to expand and go after the jobs formally dominated by men. As time progressed what we didn’t count on is that the number of women in the workforce would become so big that it would change the way the family unit was viewed. No longer is the woman at home cooking, cleaning and taking care of the children; she’s cooking, cleaning, taking care of the children, and making about $85,000 a year! It’s a well-known statistic that women tend to graduate at higher rates than men. Thus, the job market has been dominated by well-educated women focused on their careers.

As men, we are so happy to celebrate you and your accomplishments in life. However, you now have to ask yourself ” Am I’m ok with a man who makes less than I do?” and if so “Can I still respect him for where he is?” Many relationships have to deal with this dynamic. The key is to not see each other as mini banks; it’s about looking at the heart of the person behind the money. Ladies, not all good men are in business suits, some of them are fixing your busted pipes, re-patching a roof and repairing your tires on that s500…..

Quote of the day: “Some people say a good man is hard to find; it’s because we are always at work.”

Categories: Uncategorized

You’re not READY!

How many of us are sick and tired of hearing that from our older counterparts? The moment you taste your dreams, and you speak about them, someone has to be the bad apple and tell you “I don’t think you’re ready.” Whether it’s dating, business, etc., someone always has an opinion about what they think you should be doing as a young adult. This can pose a bit of frustration, especially when you have vision that is very vivid.

Let’s be real; life is all about risk. Sometimes you will make very calculated risks, but for the most part until you jump in, you don’t know how you will do. People’s opinions are largely based on fear, disguised as care for you (or
never being risk-takers themselves). Many people have missed out on life just because they follow the “live safe” trend. It doesn’t give you a right to go out and be crazy, but you should always challenge yourself in different ways
and be willing to live with the decisions that you make. You have one life to live and the last thing you want to do is look back and realize you were breathing but never lived. Don’t live on automatic pilot. Question yourself and
really get down to why you believe and live the way you do. Self-discovery is the first step in accepting who you are. And if you don’t like it, you can change it.

You’re going to get there (wherever that is)…the question is how did you do it?

Categories: Uncategorized

Next Stop, GQ Magazine!

Click here the nomination for My 1st Suit with GQ Magazine-

Categories: Uncategorized

Time to Shed!





If you are a National Geographic lover, then this picture is one you’ve seen a few times. In certain seasons, animals take the time to shed their old skin for the new fresh coat underneath. Watching a snake go through this process is interesting as they look for rough areas n order to help them remove the dead skin. I would like to point out a principle here.

In life, the phases, situations and circumstances can create a damaged person. When you suffer a deep cut, your body has an automatic process of protecting the hurt area until it heals. Then when there is no reason to protect it anymore, you shed. This principle is critical as we navigate through life. Too many times we are holding on to “dead skin”. Things that remind us of where we once were. They make us sore and keep us hostage. Then we project our issues on to every new person, place and thing we meet. What’s worse is after a while, everyone around us can visibly see we look like the picture above.

No, life is not easy and you will take many bruises, scrapes and cuts. Some of which may take a while to heal from. This is your time to take control of you and get rid of dead skin. This includes people. Yes, always be willing to meet and change your circle of friends. You will have those who are with you fr life, but many are for a season. Treat them as such and be ok when it’s time to let go of them. You do not have to stay the way you are, but change will require the rough patches of life in order to shed. It’s your opportunities to try a different way of thinking. There’s a new you underneath that is waiting to get out. Embrace the shedding process and prepare to breath new air into your life.

Categories: Uncategorized

Your Mirror







What do you see? A few marks that remind you of an event where you fell or scratched your face. A pimple. Maybe a face that shows you that sleep needs to be a priority. Keep looking. After a while as Drake said “I really think if you stare at yourself you see things”. One thing is for sure, a mirror does not show you what you want, it shows you what and where you are. It keenly displays the present and gives you a historical photo of how you got here.

Everyone uses a mirror to make suggestions, corrections and changes. To “see” themselves front, back, left to right. But the characteristics of a mirror should be ones that we take into consideration in our personal relationships. A mirror tells the truth, it’s up to you to accept what it shows you. A mirror can reflect back to you whatever you project to it. Many people are in friendships that do not reciprocate their own projections. Thus we tend to be frustrated with a person because “they just don’t get it”. This can be dangerous because when looking into a mirror, if we don’t like what we see, are we willing to change it? It’s not always the mirror’s fault what you are receiving in return, it could be just your reflection.

But when you do find your “mirror”, your hopes and dreams become reality. Many have giving up on finding the “right” people for their lives and have settled. “Mirrors” make life worth living. You go from having successful to significant relationships. Today, take a look in the mirror, if you don’t like what you see, change you. What you get back shows you if you’re on the right path.

Categories: Uncategorized

The Magic of Macy’s and My 1st Suit, Men’s Event!

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What does it matter?

Many children are taught racism. Don’t believe me? What happens at a playground when parents of different backgrounds and races see their children gravitating to others outside of their own comfort zones? The night that Kelly brings home more friends who are black, and Samantha decides that her friends are Kim, Christen, and Natalie are white friends from the other side of town. What most parents do not understand is that kids are color-blind. They have no sense of differences, creeds, or habits. They just see a ball, a swing and active participants.

Interracial dating is the evolution of such childs play. Many are curious, we want to explore life. That has become true for dating as well. It’s not always because “There are not any good men/women in my race”. So you have to ask yourself “Who or what has taught me my dating habits?” Understanding the root cause of anything helps you understand where you currently are. Truth be told, love and connection never carried a disclaimer that says “Never cross the color line”. Racism is an antagonist of any progressive move that supports “blurred vision”. Like it or not, racism still exist. It can be eliminated but takes political gurus to admit that they play a key role in ending it.

So the next time you see an interracial couple holding hands, sharing a kiss, or jumping the broom, just think about the kids at the park and remember “They don’t see color”.

Categories: Uncategorized